Sweetness In Starlight

Pooh and His Hunny.

2011-05-15T18:50:00.003+08:00

# Day 15

15th of May

Sunday

I have just one sentence for you today, one of gratitude.

I have learnt that friends are such valuable beings, and I'm blessed with amazing ones, thanks to (especially) year 2010.

HB1 (':

# Day 14 - Probation Over (:

2011-05-14T22:39:00.008+08:00

14th of May

Saturday

I've completed my 2-week probation.

Want to know what I've learnt about making it a point to blog every day despite the many other things one (me) has to do in the approximately 17-18 waking hours?

One word: Interesting.

Bet you didn't see that adjective coming.

It's pretty tough especially when my head's filled with university work and other petty things, to drag my fingers across the keyboard. But first, waiting for the laptop to start up, then having to sign in, and waiting for the dashboard to load (yes unfortunately I'm doomed to slow internet - I think I've mentioned this before somewhere. Such a cheong hei person I am). (:

But you see, doing this makes me mull over the day's experiences, with amazing clarity. Sure I may not expose every bit of the day, but I combine all sorts of elements into one post to sum up what would have affected me most. This includes the people around me, who play a heavy part on my personal stage. When I'm grey and wrinkled, and my memory cells betray me, reading all this silly little rants/ small excitements / immature opinions can possibly stimulate my brain. How cool would it be to read about my own life - it would be like rediscovering old adventures and past encounters. I might cry because I could be missing such times, I might laugh because I would have remembered a thing or two and decide that my reaction towards whatever the thing-or-two could be had been so stupid, I might smile upon reading about my relationships and silently thank every individual for representing the different tastes and colours in my lifetime, I might sigh because nostalgia would have infected every particle of my aged being...

http://josiefinee.tumblr.com/post/1226497023

And really, it goes to show that if your heart is honest and your mind is set to achieve a certain goal, you can pave a way to it, and eventually, reach it. I know you've heard this elsewhere - other people simply say "when there's a will there's a way". But the difference is in experiencing it yourself, rather than just agreeing with the ancient proverb.

I think I will give myself a break from this project whenever my exams are a breath away, though. We'll see.

Meanwhile, I will bathe in heaps of determination to do other things as well. Of course, not too many other things. Baby steps, hey. (:

I'm gonna win.

# Day 13

2011-05-13T17:17:00.002+08:00

13th of May

Friday

"You Are The Moon"

http://www.ozarkmountainimages.com/OzarkScenery/2007Scenery/Scenery%20page%203/HarvestMoon1024.jpg

Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark
Emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms
Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone?
The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone

You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear
It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier
All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe

I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact
So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass
I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky
You will see your beauty every moment that you rise

The Hush Sound

Was listening to this song and it made me think a little.

*Edit: Blogger was down for the night ! I left the post to prepare dinner (Frittata yo! ) and when I returned later I couldn't publish in time. Sighhh.

Hmmm...

# Day 12

2011-05-12T21:41:00.000+08:00

12th of May

Thursday

I will forever love this song.

And the singer. (:

I didn't have to learn to know that music is the best remedy for the soul and a faithful companion.

# Day 7 - Courage II

2011-05-11T20:45:00.006+08:00

11th of May

Wednesday

I've always been told that one must never be afraid to express one's thoughts. In some ways, by doing so, one is fighting for his/her rights.

It just hit me how timid I am. I've always known I am, but never has the implication struck me so hard until today. Everybody needs that little bit of belief in their selves, of course not excessively. But enough to have confidence in the body each self's given, with that sort of soul, and that capacity of mind. Enough to be comfortable doing something (certain things) alone, or in front of a crowd. Enough to feel accepted and to be able to trust yourself with others.

http://iwouldgivetheworldtoyou.tumblr.com

I lack a lot, and a lot, of this bravery.

That much I have learnt about myself so far...

On a random personal note,

http://coffeebitesyou.tumblr.com/post/4643482314

Born this way.

# Day 10

2011-05-10T20:39:00.005+08:00

10th of May

Tuesday

Today I learnt that for a petite person, two layers of shirts and a sweater/coat ain't enough for a temperature of 11 degrees.

http://fashionistha.tumblr.com/

Mmmmmmmmnnnnnnnawwwwwwwwwwwww (': go ahead, make all the cooing noises, I know you cannot resist. (:

That's me by the way. I look pretty unhappy don't I?

Winter spring, summer or fall, all you have to do is call.

# Day 9 - Crushed

2011-05-09T17:59:00.003+08:00

9th of May

Monday

Today I learnt that... hard work does not pay.

Disappointed beyond words. All the time and sleepless nights. All the worrying and researching. Hands up if you have ever felt like this before. Or am I the only kind of species that gives my all for nothing. I probably am.

At this stage nothing can lift my mood.

So tired, so really damn tired.

# Day 8

2011-05-08T21:41:00.004+08:00

8th of May

Sunday

Today I learnt that one can never have too much cake. :D

Blame tumblr for the following scrumptious-looking pictures (:

http://fucknonowimhungry.tumblr.com/post/4313036508

Please excuse the profanity in the link!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/f-l-m/5239848645/

http://killinhoes.tumblr.com/post/4639842496

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4143/5433695455_1db9ddd8fe_z

I had a whole butter cake to myself, courtesy of my sweet University friends. Another rich, caramel cake from my darling sister. One big slice of tiramisu cake during my Korean friend's birthday celebration (I respect her for being such an awesome host). And finally one HUGE chocolate muffin topped with all the diabetic goodies from my sister's friend. They were equally yummy.

Sinful, how sinful. Maybe it's a good idea that birthdays only come around once every year.

Mama, I miss you.

# Day 7 - Courage

2011-05-07T22:24:00.005+08:00

7th of May
Saturday

I blew out a candle flame tonight.

A sweet girl celebrated her birthday in her house, a party of which I couldn't attend. But I met up with them in the city (again thanks to another lovely person who drove all the way to pick me up) and we had a rather interesting, amazing time. She took my hand during the cake-cutting session and insisted that I cut the cake with her. They even had two candles, one for me.

There was a mixture of Koreans, Chinese people, Vietnamese people and of course Caucasians. I enjoyed observing the way each individual carried themselves, and the little habits they practice. Like for the Koreans, it is only polite to introduce yourself to the crowd of people present during any gathering.

Isn't that what meeting people is all about? Having the interest to get to know others, paying attention to their cultures, fitting in not under obligation but because you are comfortable with change; rather than being under the influence of inertia and isolating yourself because you are different and you do things differently... After all, black or white, we are ultimately human beings. We laugh or condemn the things others do, seeing things as they are on the surface, stereotyping them. But have we thought about their backgrounds and the significance of what they do?

http://inspiring-pictures.tumblr.com

Every colour counts.

I'm honoured I have friends of so many races and nationalities. Their hearts are beautiful, and I can't even see their hearts. I feel. I wish everyone would see it the way I do.

I could really use a wish right now.

# Day 6 - The Day Of Birth, Also Known As Birthday,

2011-05-07T07:20:00.004+08:00

6th of May

Friday

Cassandra's work; the best part was having to sit in a row during Pharmacy Practice lecture, and I'm telling you it was way down at the front of the hall. All with the same hairstyle. Cool is the word, although somewhat embarrassing, yes. The row of Malay students behind us were rather excited when they noticed, and were friendly enough to express it (: Pretty, pretty (:

Need I say more?

It was lovely of them, to have made time and to have taken me for lunch.

Yes, my Cheese of a friend "tried to choose the girliest cake set" for me. Am I really that girly? Evidently I wore pink, but only to match the beanie I wanted to wear.

I loveee beanies. (: And I only possess two.

What did I learn today?

There's nothing more beautiful than the simple happiness one can feel in the wonderful company of wonderful people. We're stuck together for the next 3 years plus anyway, battling all hardships university life can throw.

Aren't the cupcakes so so so pretty?

I fell asleep at midnight, the moment my Birthday ended. Hmmm....

# Day 5 - Innocence

2011-05-05T20:09:00.008+08:00

5th of May

Thursday

http://lessthanperfection.tumblr.com/post/4383767733

It's a pity the purest we can be is not now, not ever. Only when we were infants, toddlers, or young enough to not formulate crazy ideas about the world were we untainted.

If you look at life the way you analyze a movie, you'd realize all we generally do is learn (and stress while we're at it), get a job (and again stress while we're at it) and try to receive income to preserve this state of, well, life (yes add a million times the stress). Don't forget, a large percentage of people are worse off.

Of course, there are positive ways to look at it but, we are essentially doing the above.

And of course, it is funny (there is no better word to describe this) that we attract drama, but even more so that drama attracts us. What about tragedy is so appealing? To satisfy our senses, our need to feel emotion (feel emotion? hmm...), to have something to talk about.

No wonder they say life = sufferring.

Boy am I a depressing person. :P Go do something fun (but not hurtful), give life some meaning. Give your life some meaning. (:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/21534686@N05/4370019909

Here comes the sun, doodoodoodoo.

# Day 4 - I never knew just what it was

2011-05-04T22:48:00.006+08:00

4th of May

Wednesday

One of my favourite singers, singing one of my favourite songs, that will be played during my wedding among many other enchanting pieces.

In other words, you are prohibited from using this song for your wedding. Everybody is. Me being the only exception. (:

Mmm it was a dry day. Perhaps tomorrow will bring me something new.

# Day 3 - Squeezing Lemons

2011-05-03T22:12:00.009+08:00

3rd of May

Tuesday

WHEW. I made good time. Very late with my post today, want to know why?

*dramatic drumroll*

I was baking. Hahaha. My first batch of scones (lemon scones), ever! I am too ashamed to tell you how much time I spent mixing, rolling, baking and cleaning altogether. But I suppose the result was not too bad. (: The texture did not turn out how I had expected, but my sister commented it was different, though in a good way. Also there was a tang of sourness from the lemon that was satisfying but exceeded my liking by 20%. When we were way younger, my other sister and I stuck to baking simple, delicious cakes. That was then, when I wasn't well-informed about the diverse delicacies that an oven can produce. So today was a good starting point!

I simply cannot wait until the next time I do some baking again. Practice makes perfect, too common a phrase but one that I believe in. You see, I have a crystal clear vision of me, and my kids, spending time together in the kitchen - them looking too adorable in their tiny aprons, diligently pressing cookie dough or tip-toeing on a stool to stir their precious cream of pumpkin soup. That would be one out of the many things my children will be skilled in (: But more about my dreams later, haha.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_XreFgJbixRw/SjlCPEbRy3I/AAAAAAAACO4/BRVXxWiDLvA/s1600/Uno-490pixels

Someday I will be able to make all of the above. (; *Lyrics to Dream Big*

So yes what did tryaliltenderness take from the baking experience today?

Squeezing a lemon dry to obtain its juice is terribly difficult. Disturbingly difficult. This happens when you don't have a juice extractor.

Because the clock was ticking away, I wasted no time Googling how to go about this absurd activity. "She has problems with squeezing a lemon?" Oh how you scorn. Try it yourself, Einstein. Let's see how much juice you can collect.

So yes, I went to Google after. For you budding chefs, here's what you need to know about squeezing lemons efficiently and productively (;

1. Squeezing a lemon taken directly out of the refrigerator will reduce the amount of juice you may potentially collect. So take your yellow fruit out about 2 hours before you start preparing your masterpiece.

2. If memory fails and you want to use the refrigerated lemon immediately, wash it (I will assume you are using only one lemon), and heat it up in a microwave oven for 20-25 seconds. Don't be too clever and go up to a minute (I can read your tricky little mind), apparently if the lemon gets to hot it may err... explode (:

3. After you have completed either step 1 or step 2, use the weight of your palm to press down on the whole lemon. You could perform this on your rolling platform or your chopping board (whichever applies / is easier). What you're doing here is breaking the fibers which will ease the flow of juice when you squeeze it later.

4. Now all you have to do is slice the lemon in half, and start squeezing ! Of course, if you want to be professional, you could imitate a majority of chefs by cupping one hand beneath the face of a half-cut lemon, squeezing it with the other hand. The objective is to catch the seeds. But I'd rather start by deseeding the lemon with a knife, since I'm a beginner. I'd also like to add that cutting the lemon into a few slices will waste heaps of drops of juice, and you may have to start crushing the slice the way you clench your fist. This is rather ineffective because the juice will simply coat / run all over your fingers and plenty will have been wasted.

5. If you are not going to make use of the other half of your lemon, be sure to coat the exposed flesh with a little bit of sugar to prevent drying.

6. Apparently, the average lemon will produce 3 tablespoons of juice. (Average lemon. If you obtain more, don't get too excited, it just means your lemon is peculiar. Haha I kid!)

Well there you go (:

Happy lemon-squeezing !

http://www.thingsthatinspire.net/2009/06/breakfast-rooms.html2

My future kitchen will definitely be white, and have a few elements that the above has. The glaringly obvious exceptions would be to have a much larger sink. And to do a few changes to the floor-tiling. (:

I also learnt that walking from the university to Chinatown takes no less than 18 minutes. ):

# Day 2

2011-05-02T22:02:00.006+08:00

2nd of May

Monday

Today I learnt in depth about the Cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe, 2008.

During the 5pm lecture, my lecturer presented us with a short video that had captured the harsh reality of life in a third world country like that. The details were far too horrifying, and I cannot bring myself to type out every bit of knowledge I acquired from the eye-opening video.

But I can tell you this. There were 5 times the number of fatalities in Zimbabwe itself compared to the global statistics. Although the epidemic arose in August, its seriousness was recognized only FOUR months later. Here lies a fact that cannot be denied: this disease is definitely not under control. Why, approximately 180 new cases were reported by the end of March this year.

Yeah we all probably know about the country's economic crisis since over a decade ago. We are aware about the dreadfully poor water sanitation. We have seen clips of families collecting contaminated water wherever they can, each person with rusty metal cans in hand being thrusted into random rivers, lifted with water filled to the brim and transferred into a large container; to be filled and to be stored, to be consumed to meet their body requirements daily. I'm sorry did I say requirements? Could dying from dehydration cause less physical suffering? Yeah, a short interview led by a health care organization representative exposed a conversation that went something like this:

Why do you take this type of water? Do you know it is bad?

We need water. Yes, I know.

What about your children? Aren't you afraid for their wellbeing?

Yes I am, but we have no choice.

Do you know about cholera?

Of course, I am very aware.

Aren't you afraid you or your family members will contract cholera?

I am very afraid, I constantly worry for us, for them. It is hard.

Then how do you bring yourself to consume this water?

There is no option, what other options do we have? What else can we do?

My tear ducts were doing their thing again. A few people around me in the lecture theatre had their heads bowed down. Those confused, pained faces. What good would education do to them, they may understand all the health issues but they have no power to fight them. The only power they possess is to sit behind the stage and watch the government flop around with no sense of urgency. Wait for illness to suck their lives out, wait to be discarded like trash. And I meant the last bit, the scenes were sickening by the way. A number of deaths from cholera have not been reported; and health care providers have fled from fear or surrendered to the insufficient products or resources to even give their professions a go. Hence victims were left to struggle on their own, and to endure the pain until they've gone (or to have not been able to endure the pain and hence, have gone).

How much is the UN contributing? How many lies have people with positions told? Yes, many movements have been successful but many have not been too. Can balance for every single person on Earth be achieved one glorious day? Is it even logical to think of such an achievement?

I won't be able to sleep tonight.

# Day 1 (Of Project 101)

2011-05-02T21:24:00.007+08:00

1st of May

Sunday

Falling asleep while studying Muscles and Its Functions is really very easy to do.

Dear Weather; you know how people theorize and talk about you? They say to many of us students studying abroad, "When you go overseas, you'll either gain or lose weight because your eating patterns will be affected by the change in weather." More specifically, "Ah, you'll definitely gain weight moving from Malaysia to Australia." And hey, I have been progressively feeling more hungry. Day by day. From the moment I wake up =/ Either the theory is regrettably true (and I will lose my petite size *horizontally speaking*), or I am pregnant.

http://sweetsupersweet.tumblr.com/post/3528397095/my-sweet-stuff-addiction-is-seriously-going-way

I can't decide which is better.

Oh and the night before, I finally got my hands on the guitar. Proof I haven't been playing in ages: My fingers hurt after HALF a minute of pressing the strings down. Heck also, I need free guitar lessons; given the internet speed will never be sweet to me no matter where I go (Unless I lug the guitar to Uni like a goon and wreak havoc - as well as create hatred - by strumming in front of the screen in any chosen computer pool available). I can only play 2 keys ): Someone? Anyone?

http://www.jr.com/media/images/contests/johnMayerGuitar_v1_m56577569833677971.jpg

Fender Stratocaster John Mayer guitar !! With his signature. I desire. Heaps. Ahh!!

I crave... some McD fries. That I already had last night ):

Project 101

2011-05-01T22:16:00.009+08:00

So I have decided to practice loyalty (to this blog), determination, tenacity and dedication altogether. (:

From today onwards, (Second of May), I will faithfully return to this box everyday, to post something, anything, up. I apply emphasis on the word 'everyday'. I would most probably relay bits and pieces of my hours spent not sleeping, or regale you with daily lessons of (my so-very-happening) life (fwahhh impressive!). *wink*

As you (my pretend millions-of-readers) would have noticed, my blog is malnourished and is in need of tender loving care.

I have set my duration of probation (Step 1 into the dedication aspect). (: I give myself 2 weeks. Don't give me that look, 14 days is a long shot for yours truly. If all goes well, by the end of 2011, you will not only have followed through the dull life of Miss Fetish-for-headwear; but I will send myself bouquets of flowers to represent the type of congratulatory gestures an employee in some high-maintenance company would receive when he/she is offered a job promotion.

I must admit, 50% of this spectacular but absurd idea was inspired by Nora Ephron's light but heart-warming movie, Julie & Julia (2009). Rather old, I know, but doesn't change it's relatively good 74% rating by Rotten Tomatoes!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_FtMpUJRA6ik/TUu3YEXgJLI/AAAAAAAAApk/NOUQ51JqV9w/s1600/julie-julia-

Let's face it, any movie with classy and undoubtedly talented Meryl Streep in it is bound to be remarkable. (:

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KFxmlXHAk1A/TUmGxgU5yfI/AAAAAAAAC2c/3a0vMYizEH4/s400/Julie%252B%2526%252BJulia%252B3

Very simply, Amy Adam's character (Julie Powell) had a motivating perseverance to execute 524 recipes in her idol's (Julia Child, played by Meryl Streep) cookbook and blog about her experiences in the kitchen for all of 365 days.

http://steamykitchen.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/julie-julia-movie

Julie Powell and Julia Child are two real authors and both have had their memoirs labelled best-selling. The memoirs are 'Mastering the Art Of French Cooking' and 'My Life In France' respectively. The movie also stars Stanley Tucci and Chris Messina.

http://www.areyouscreening.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/julieandjulia4

Because I somehow find this couple very very very adorable (:

No, my headwear collection is not at all enormous and is in fact, rather pitiful. Now you know what to get for my birthday (;

Cheesed off.

2011-04-08T23:20:00.003+08:00

Seriously what is it with some people who just love adding fire to flames? And for the record, such 'people' are so damn insecure that others' lives become their own.

"Dear girl, honestly, you need to start having some originality in your life. It's rather sad how you need to leech on to things even when you don't understand the true value of them. Yours sincerely."

I hope you read that. I truly hope you know it's directed to you. About time you realized how childish you have been over the YEARS, damn it. It's alright that you've created holes in my world, but touch other people around me and I could kill. Well no not literally. But who knows, i've been patient. In fact I should be laughing and scorning over your immature behaviour, but hey, I'm not as low as you.

Next time pick on someone closer to your heart, okay? At least be honest with your feelings. Then that person, whoever it may be, will not be fooled - like the many other people you've ruined in individual ways.

Gah.

Never felt this irritated in a long time.

Get a life.

2011-04-06T20:19:00.002+08:00

You know how sometimes the best things turn out to be the worst things ever? Yeah. Well. I cannot believe I'm thinking about an event that occurred a few months ago. The human mind really is a wonder. Funny how it picks up random memories whenever it wants to.

Anyway. Back to studying Chem. <3

Seen it all before.

2011-03-27T21:55:00.006+08:00

I was going to go on a long roll about my worst week ever, about how I sense it's an ill omen for the rest of the year although you may slap me and reassure me it's nothing like that, about how down I feel thanks to the stupid Lab Demonstrator and for losing something so precious with the blink of an eye, and for the past to return with a huge potential of extending this very unbelievable four-year period issue. Oh and for missing a party with Andy Murphy in the house baby ! Grrrrrrr.

And on a roll I actually did go. Oops (: How very 'me' of me. I always say to myself, my blog carries no weight whatsoever and is a waste of space and yet I cannot bring myself to delete it. Also I tell myself after every emotional post, "Okay, no more posts with slimy gloom

drooping from and infiltrating every corner from now." Time to change the atmosphere up a little bit. But no time to change the atmosphere a little bit! Although when I'm stuck in a claustrophobic cage of sadness I have time to discuss about it and drag everybody in my vicinity along. Silly, boring me (:

Yes, the new chatbox. It's up. So the next thing to do would be to publicize this blog. Somehow I don't really want to. I love this anonymity. We'll see how it goes.

I'm still so angry with that annoying demonstrator. I will prove myself better than you one fine day and shall be kind to future students I come across. Hmf.

http-//hoteloblivion.tumblr.com/post/922102965/let-me-be-your-wings-let-me-be-your-only

You lift my feet off the ground, you spin me around... You make me crazier, crazier...

xxx

Submerged.

2011-02-20T08:14:00.004+08:00

The Four Seasons

It was always a hot summer

In the days we used to play

I could say it doesn't matter

But I'd give me all away

Now an autumn has passed and another one, too,

There will be many springs now,

All without you

Our old Kansas winters won't see you again

And neither will I

Till my seasons end

What hurts selfish me is not that you've gone,

But that I am still here,

And I'm all alone.

Spring, winter, and fall run into each other

I hope where you are it is one endless summer.

Paullina Simons

Author of 'Tully', The International Bestseller

I must admit my first impression of the book was not a huge one. But somehow Tully sucked me in and now I'm already halfway through her life's story. I like the author's attention to certain details. Her distinct style of describing people's emotions is crackerjack! From the way Natalie Ann Makker endured an abusive childhood to her transformation into a tough and rebellious young lady, Paullina Simons captures a (so far, at page 255 out of 600 over pages) tragic novel set in the 1970s about love, loss, restrictions and choices that envelope three girls' lives.

At this point I have learnt from the novel that courage and strength are such important elements for human beings to survive. Even then, possessing them both consumes a lot of energy and in the end, leaves the idea of life not well lived.

Moral of the story? Be thankful I have never been abused. :P ...I'm actually not kidding though. Innocent children technically parentless (in other words having parents with no hearts) are experiencing purgatory which really does not differ from that sufferred by young victims of slavery / genocide / discrimination / labour etcetera, etcetera.

So, for those of you who can only read or listen about the distress and agony of such people, count your blessings daily. No doubt our everyday problems are extensive enough to make us want to pull our hair out, cut ourselves (Shout out to a certain someone, I hope you've stopped the gross habit), cry until the well of tears dry up, or even jump off a building (which happened to more than enough overly stressed students in Malaysia). Nevertheless you can always be grateful you were / are not subjected to aforementioned misery.

Anyway, back to the book ! Aaaand credits to my darling sister, Melissa for quenching my boredom with the few new novels you've bought.

Swing Low, Sweet;

2011-02-19T22:06:00.005+08:00

Do I care that this is the fifth post today? Nope ! * With the popping of the 'p' *

I, for precision's sake, would want you to note that the time displayed beneath every post is still set to the Malaysian clock. It is approximately half past midnight over here, don't be fooled.

http://tryalittletenderness.tumblr.com/post/1692131573

Just a little reminder to myself that Valentine's Day was also the first day of orientation. My phone was unusually silent and msn messenger did not work then. A quiet time alone with my thoughts sharing my love that were unable to reach people's ears or eyes but hopefully were able to reach their hearts. xx

Happy Belated Valentine's.

2011-02-19T21:48:00.003+08:00

I also forgot to bring my silver notebook which I haven't touched for months. I'm in dire need of it because lately i've had many insights (lying in bed trying to sleep because counting sheep never worked) and I forget them the moment more punch in.

I tell myself to write them down the next morning in this notebook I brought (because getting out of bed is not an option as it will only intensify my consciousness) but by then my memory fails me. Sad face.

No wonder I have nothing to offer in this pitiful brimming-with-depression blog. :P

TayTay and NatNat

2011-02-19T21:25:00.004+08:00

Currently listening to: Storm by Lifehouse

I love Lifehouse (: Who doesn't? Their songs even helped Cookie bag second prize in the 31st Annual SEA Forensics tournament. Solo Acting yo !

I miss cookie. I miss cookie's weird obsessions. I miss cookie's teasing. Terrible seriously-gets-under-your-skin kinda teasing. I miss cookie's self-destruct button. I miss cookie's sudden gush of words and strings of elaborated (sometimes just a bit twisted) opinions. I miss cookie's exaggerated dreams / complaints / descriptions of anything. I miss cookie's texts that are so odd and amusing. I miss cookie's texts that are sometimes not deserving of a reply but that remind me I'm never forgotten. I miss cookie asking me to hang out every single time he's free and never considers whether I am or not, or how difficult it was for me to. I miss cookie making empty promises like making me French dinners. I miss cookie's inflammatory insults. I miss cookie's methods of cheering me up. I miss cookie's reassurance that he'll never forget me and his confidence that I'll one day see him on the streets going, 'Eh you look familiar, were you the college's janitor or something?'. I miss cookie's intelligent eyes. I miss cookie's inability to lose temper.

Omg I miss cookie ):

2011-02-19T21:20:00.002+08:00

I forgot to bring my poem collection !!!

Noooooooooooooo ):

Salvation.

2011-02-19T14:35:00.011+08:00

Alright alright. Let me break it down for you.

I currently am in a tiny, serene city of South Australia, and I've only been here for a week. Everything is tranquil, I have been generously assisted by an elderly woman, the public transportation services surpass the kind I've lived with for 18 plus years, the sky is unbelievably clear, dodgy people cease to infiltrate the streets, shades are a must-have, and there is hardly any litter to be seen.

And yet I absolutely detest it all.

Certainly do not wish to sound ungrateful, but it feels more of a trap than ever; than I'd expected. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful place. Speaking of beautiful, my sleep has been an ugly stepsister (take your pick, I think both of them were just as evil). I wake a countless number of times every night without fail, and it's not fun because streetlights are scarce and pitch black is all I see, give or take few tiny streaks of light.

Maybe I'm just the type of person who takes light years to adapt to change, although people have pointed out the contrary. Maybe if 2010 (mmmm (: ) did not happen I wouldn't feel as I do now. Everything is so... foreign. On the second night I was here in the exact same spot, hunched over a sturdy study table, almost too absorbed in surfing the net that the sound of vehicles zooming past seemed so ordinary. Then I lift my eyes off the Mac and stare through the blinds and out of the sliding window. Different. I'm not in Malaysia, the cars speeding by are not plated with the prefix 'W'. The drivers are mostly Australians. I'm in a seat that does not have a green back and thick, black legs. I don't like the feeling. Not the slightest bit.

I swore new and worthy experiences will come my way whilst I'm 3472 miles away from the people I love and I've come to love in the past year (Of which I regret not celebrating by attending the SAM Awards Ceremony held on 14th January '11 for selected SAM graduates of 2010). I will honour my promise, I promise. (: Or rather pray.

Ps. Even my music is against me. Dear I-pod, I hope I can find you new songs soon.

Pps. Soon = indefinite duration.

Ppps. I hear there are some extremely decent dessert places here, SO... Scrumptious Delectable Desserts ! I will conquer you so at the very least my stomach (and my taste buds) will triumph. Take that, foreign place I'm in ! (;

My best memory of what I've left behind? Okay maybe not best but definitely making it to the list: KLIA on the 12th of February, 7:32 p.m. (: (: (:

I miss everything there is to miss in a place that makes me feel nothing but this.

2011-02-15T18:12:00.004+08:00

hiiiiiiii

i cant even do msn

i dont know what's wrong

HAPPY VALENTINES ADDY 

happy beelated valentine's

hellooooo 

hiiiii

LOL

so whats new??

it's so hard to sleep

awww, why

like i turn my i-pod on but instead of sending me to sleep, it feels wrong because the room's pitch dark, there's no sound of the fan / air-cond, the bed and pillow is all not right

then i hear cars passing by while using my laptop

and for moments i get so absorbed with what im doing that the sound of the road feels normal, but after a while i realize it's just foreign, everything is foreign

u'll get used to it 

and you freaking made me cry when i read all the tiny notes, in the small room-to-be-mine

so are u living on campus??

awww

hehehe, i hope u like it 

im sorry if the christmas ball i made looked ugly

my silver pen was like empty 

i was sitting on the floor like a sad little piece of miserable ting

*thing

A beautiful mess

2011-01-12T18:21:00.003+08:00

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks ‒ they're quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There's no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words that paraphrasing this relationship we're staging

And what a beautiful mess, yes it is
It's like picking up trash in dresses.

Here we are.

2010-12-01T20:20:00.001+08:00

NEED TO UPDATE !!

Currently almost bed-ridden, fever go away please, thank you !

Li Kai

2010-11-19T22:58:00.005+08:00

"Awhh sorry i was sleeping.

Noe why? Cos

:P haih u shudnt stay at home.

Go out, do things, compose songs :)"

Thanks for the text, the only person I can share anything with; you're a gem.

I'm A Bad Boy

2010-11-13T18:04:00.004+08:00

For breaking her heart.

2010-10-31T23:48:00.002+08:00

Hi.

I'm nervous like faeces ):

Two weeks, two weeks, two weeks...

I'll be fine, I'll sail through the rainbows with success, right?

Omgoodness ):

Argh.

Bye.

The Swing In Your Step

2010-10-30T16:29:00.004+08:00

Hello there. This is a message to you, and a reminder to myself, that my Final Exams are creeping up the calendars of my soul, so maybe if my soul survives the next two weeks, I'll be back here, as loyal and as acutely emotional as ever.

I'm emotional again. Yeah I know, I know, why did I let curiosity get the better of me? Just a miniscule amount of extra knowledge kills the many cells respiring inside of me. I may have trust issues, but for someone with frustrating inconspicuousness to be so blatant at times just throws me off the tight rope I've been learning to walk. In the very depth of happiness I've been living in, this lack of balance transitions my pain right from the negative mark to it's infinite height, right past the 'happiness' scale.

I can't do this ): I'm sick of pretense. But I know glue of it's strongest kind yet will never fail this... this thing.

Yeap, I've summed it all up in one word: Thing.

Enough crapping.

Well, adieu.

See you in a fortnight. Send me your best wishes, heehee.

Lotsa Love.

Alguien Soy Yo

2010-10-10T01:24:00.009+08:00

Songwriters: Shanks, John; Dioguardi, Kara; Iglesias, Enrique M

Listen, please.

Inches from my fingertips...

2010-10-09T15:33:00.005+08:00

you're inches from my fingertips
i've come as close as i can get
i'm reaching but the rest is up to you.
cause i don't ever wanna miss
being here with you like this
i'm trying but it's all that i can do.
i'm reaching but the rest is up to you..

and you say, so you say
it's a brilliance meant to fade
love is wild like a fire
burning underneath the rain
but this is not the same...

2010-10-09T15:23:00.008+08:00

EMPTY promises.

I've had just about enough.

No, I'm not oblivious to things you never brought up, I pretend not to see certain things but honestly, it eats away a little part of me everyday.

And I've kept it all in.

I guess you've decided to bring it all up now.

Well, thank you for convincing me that once again, I am such a gullible, stupid person.

Jeon once told me, 'You can't be so nice, Adeline, you'll only let other people bully you so easily.' Hell and I laughed as if it was a ginormous joke.

If Karma Doesn't Hit You, I will.

2010-09-25T13:41:00.008+08:00

Heyyy all (: It has been quiet I know; I'm sorry!

One huge week has been lifted off my small shoulders and I can breathe for, well, at least a day or two. Then it's right back to Finals. That's right, exams. We're students, our job is to study, I think all youngsters needa learn to accept that. And I need to learn to raise that self-esteem of mine =/

It's amazing isn't it, September going on October. There are times when I want to be Iceman, shoot ice over everything. Then the whole world can freeze - encased in solid water blocks, and I'll have the liberty to look all around, let day-by-day issues and revelations sink in, inhale and exhale until my pulse becomes regular and my nerves are relaxed, list the missed opportunities out, weep over those missed opportunities then get over them, and when i'm finally ready, snap my fingers and let life continue its course.

Anyway, what's new with me?

Nothing !

This year has been like any other, mostly home. But I've got music to save me, sighhh, I love music it's true. (:

And somebody dedicated this song to me, cheesy as it is, I am one of the universe's top most incurable romantic anyway.

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are...

Sigh someone slap me in the face, please? (;

I know your secret...

Question.

2010-09-07T09:32:00.003+08:00

Question: Ever wondered why some people take the simplest, and purest pleasure in watching the setting sun, although it is actually an implication that the day is over and darkness will reign?

Answer: Because while we can find joy in the brightness of life, happiness comes, and goes; Sorrow will take over, and it will go. It's inevitable. So why not live in every moment, every second, instead of dwelling on the black of night that will have to arrive; on the future that will have to happen...

"Arguably the best place to live in." Sigh.

#6 - Follow Me.

2010-08-29T12:09:00.010+08:00

I mean it, literally. *executes a puss-in-boots-from-shrek look* (:

With Google Analytics, I've discovered that people from across the globe visit my site; the United States having the lion's share of them hits.

Unexpected, yes no? Yes. I guess the people you have acquaintances with always try to relate all that you say to what they think they've known you as over the years, (arrr what a hideously long string of words) so when they successfully fail to fathom your inner expression, they disregard your tripe talk. Others however, do not recognize you but when they discover similarities or a sense of connection, your gibberish suddenly makes sense. Or something like that.

But... Fact of life. Another justification as to why relevant individuals absolutely adore their pen pals. Or, again, something like that.

Thank you to the two followers I don't personally know (: One took an extra step with a comment here:

http://tryaliltenderness.blogspot.com/2010/07/crass.html

(: (: How humbling.

Uncle Kracker - Follow Me (; Cutesy guitar-ing.

How Far?

2010-08-23T21:12:00.004+08:00

How far do I have to look beneath the layers, to discover what was overlapped...

When what overlapped is all I want to recognize.

How long do I have to remain one point shy, to hide behind secrets I have already uncovered...

When the uncovering of what I uncovered will leave me with a negative score.

How many degrees of truth must I swallow, to live in false regard...

When the lies are to a zero degrees, but the situation is as temperate as the North Pole.

Why can't things be simpler?

Because everyone has asked the same thing before, and simple is as simple never gets.

2010-08-22T01:23:00.006+08:00

BITE ME.

*picture dramatic dropped-jaw, shocked expression*

WRITING DIDN'T HELP EASE ANYTHING OFF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER.

I... lost the flow midway, and pushed the guitar away.

WHAT IS HAPPENING. WHAT IS HAPPENINGGGGG ?

Artsy.

2010-08-21T23:13:00.004+08:00

Tonight I'm feeling somewhat galvanized...

The past few weeks have been loaded, and yet somehow I dug my way through the sticky grains of malevolence, all because of a particular... well should I say miracle?

And yet the miracle feels misplaced. My sub-conscience says miracles can go out of line, and I'm starting to believe that.

This is all too conflictual for me.

My tired mind is not up for anything like that, or rather, anything at all.

Ahhh I feel the song constructing. I'm embedding every emotion I've tried to explain in this post, into it. Some things are not meant to be understood. But see, told you I'm feeling inspired (: Off to write.

I'm not meant to be understood.

Bummer

2010-08-14T16:50:00.004+08:00

aseriesofserendipities-tumblr_kvinqiraAn1qasir3o1_500

No I will not bawl my eyes out.

But I thought, you know, 'At long last, my chance has arrived.'

The RESPECT mini-concert just got cancelled, axed along with the two singing numbers I had begun to conquer and be immensely fond of.

I've always wanted to well, express that little bit of thing I enjoy doing... I've only never got the opportunity. Practices have been running pretty okay, and I've gotten to know at least five new REALLY pleasant people. By pleasant I mean, they share similar interests and have such likable personalities. I've thoroughly enjoyed those few sessions with you guys. (:

Additionally, my character particularly and always, controls me from blowing my own trumpet, but the few of them actually remarked that I can do what I do... And those comments were exactly what I needed to push that self-confidence meter of mine up to a 30% - from what used to be maybe just 5%.

Sigh Sigh Sigh I'm out of words and the strength to be disappointed.

I suppose I will never ever be able to grab the spotlight, not even for once in my restricted lifetime.

I need a hug.

Even the coldest winter have not the ability to dampen my all-time dream like this has.

Hug, please?

A Leader, A Friend.

2010-08-13T22:47:00.002+08:00

(I searched up all my photo folders, but I couldn't find a picture of just

the two of us alone. Hence, I resorted to this instead.)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY !

I'm not about to disclose your age for the public to see, so no worries. The conjoined pictures above however, were individually snapped in our second year of leadership. (Oh goodness, schooling days!)

Might I add, though I've mentioned it before, that YOU were indeed, by far, the greatest leader I've met.

Because I don't wish to sound repetitive, I'll remind you of the person you were before we parted ways - as friends do from time to time, flowing with the course of life.

This is extracted from my previous blog, and it very clearly portrays what I thought of you then, and what you still probably are now (I haven't seen you in what feels like, millenniums sigh)

" Mr. Can-Do-Everything. Except laugh out loud.

Mr. Excited-When-I-Am-Sharing-Knowledge. So noble.

Mr. Responsible-And-Wise. An infinitely competent Head Prefect.

Mr. Righteous. Morally sound.

Mr. Certainly-Deserved-The-Huge-Slices-Of-Cake. There's always more.

I summed up the wholesome person you've become into five simple lines.

(: "

It's funny how I know I'll always remember you by those very few lines. (Though the cake bit was only relevant back then !)

Thank you for being the friend who gave me sound advice when certain times were rough, I'm sure you still remember when.

Have a very, very, blessed year ahead. (:

PS. This wish was published a day later than your actual birthdate, but if you observe the date of the post, it would be precise because it was correctly drafted on the 13th of August. I happened to fall asleep before clicking publish, yeah at 11.00 pm *gasp so early* on my bed with the lights on. Heehee (:

PPS. I hope you'll actually read this. *Edit: YOU DID ! Happy, I am (:

Trust... but first, verify.

2010-08-11T16:37:00.004+08:00

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

Marilyn Monroe

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3042/2657138987_d6e537e9e2.jpg

Histrionics repeats itself.

2010-08-10T18:41:00.002+08:00

Conscience: Don't start anything you can't finish.

Me: I know I know I know ):

Conscience: What's your plan?

Me: I don't know I don't know I don't know ):

Conscience: All these contradictory responses are self-induced, you know.

Me: I know I know I know.

Conscience: So just let go, silly.

Me: Oh. I... don't know...

Conscience: You and your endless, unnecessary contrition.

Me: ...

Conscience: I can't help you with your tender issues.

Me: Might as well be estranged huh.

Conscience: Ah, don't be like that. There are many other ways... i'm sure...

Me: Like?

Conscience: I can't help you, remember?

Me: Right, right... I can't help me.

Yes, check, no, check.

Crass.

2010-07-31T23:12:00.008+08:00

I. AM. EMOTIONAL. TO. THE. HIGHEST. DEGREE.

I NEED TO YELL, but not when the sound may escape and wake the entire house.

HELLO, BLOG, CAN YOU HEAR ME?

How often is it that profanity wishes to leech on me and overpower my usually self-controlled tongue? Not frequent. But when it does, I could seriously. Kick. Everything. Within. My. Reach.

I am distraught - bothered - apprehensive - afraid - concerned - fretful... aren't all that enough to cause my chest to explode? I'm not an overflowing river, I'm the damned maremoto.

>:(

tumblr_kswjl1FOEu1qa9tnao1_500_large

The subject? Myself, actually. Help.

Flicker, flicker.

2010-07-31T22:53:00.003+08:00

You're out drinking.

I am worried as hell.

Please be careful.

And you, you're out, doing shisha. Do you really think some trends are worth following, just to portray that badass side of you? Your maturity level amazes me. And eats away what's left of the respect you've earned from me.

You ARE drunk. You're telling me how to 'preserve my virginity'.

Oh, my goodness.

Why am I so concerned?

I shouldn't be so worried. Worried, worried, worried...

Next time; There won't be a next time.

2010-07-25T21:35:00.003+08:00

I actually need to get out and take some interesting photos for this blog. Thing is, I don't. Poor lonely camera of mine. Poor utterly plain blog of mine.

Heh.

Filler post? Indeed.

I don't care what you say but I LOVE Eminem's rapping in Love The Way You Lie. (:

#5

2010-07-20T23:20:00.002+08:00

Thank you,

Dearest Jay Lyn, Rachel, Kavina and Joanne (: You are indeed the best people to fall sick with. I've never felt so unwell and yet laughed until I nearly teared up. Truly children of the heavens (quote Jay Lyn). You're all, most undeniably, *cue Jay Lyn's voice*, the bomb.

2010-07-15T20:36:00.001+08:00

Done transferring the past thank-you posts from my other blog to this one ! (:

#4

2010-07-15T20:31:00.000+08:00

SATURDAY, APRIL 03, 2010

Thank you,

Isaac H. George, for being the perfect definition of a friend; to another incredible person i know. Whether or not your support is shown outwardly, know that I will be forever grateful. Thank heavens for being placed in this same box of a classroom in January 2010. There are not many like you, that I can certify... (:

#3

2010-07-15T20:30:00.002+08:00

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 09, 2010

Thank you,

Sue Ann, Rachel Matthews, Lih Wen, Tammy, Phui Yuk, Kell Jim, Oliviaand Hanrick for your sincere concern over my transport back home today. It's amazing to know just after a month of hanging around in college, I have met exemplars of worthy friends. And most of all to Arvind, for the security throughout the taxi-ride.

#2

2010-07-15T20:29:00.001+08:00

TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 09, 2010

Thank you,

Helpful-guy-whose-name-I-have-yet-to-find-out for picking up all my coins when they fell and were scattered all over the school canteen floor (2009). I did not realize until you held out your hand, filled with silver; that you had taken the trouble to pick every single one as you did so behind the blue tables, and walked away so rather quickly for me to not have expressed proper gratitude.

#1

2010-07-15T20:27:00.001+08:00

MONDAY, JANUARY 18, 2010

Thank you,

Mama, for being the ultimate bionic woman - to quote the many other people who respect you and look up to you; for welcoming me into your arms and letting my tears fall freely upon your shoulder. For not questioning, for simply stroking my back and telling me to feel better. Not only the little things like tonight, but through out my existence you have proven over and over again how much of sublimity you carry as a person. The way you touched so many hearts along the way, through the bonding-bedtime-worthy stories you told me. You are truly beyond world-class, a grandmother of majesty.

I love you. Unconditionally.

#0

2010-07-15T20:14:00.004+08:00

MONDAY, JANUARY 18, 2010

There was this very moment, that inspired me to keep track of all the many kind deeds people, around me and the world, have done; for I am blessed to have had a certain sort of affinity with them. One thoughtful act leads a long way. And if I may never return the kindness to each and everyone of them concerned, I vow to help persist this cycle of nobility anywhere else, everywhere else.

It won't be soon before long.

2010-07-15T19:08:00.011+08:00

So I have decided to diminish and replace one intention of my other personal blog (whisperedletters.blogspot.com) with another far more complicating one.

In simpler words I'll be taking down all my thank you posts from there. Not to worry, I'm transferring them here! Another 'Labels for this post' to remember. Not that I mind. I'm an appreciative person so, me counting my blessings will not go unnoticed. (:

I've also decided that I love how, I think, ever since leaving this blog dormant for the first few months of the year, I made my number of readers reduce to zero. I love the idea of that, because I'm allowed to type freely and appear incomprehensible. (: True, everybody needs a place to confess a thousand million things, and a blog may serve such purpose out of the trillion others without judging all that you have to write.

I must say, although I don't like ending up all cliched, I attain pleasure in confessing my unstoppable train of thoughts in the most meaningless way. And without readers, smooth-sailing this shall be. (:

I can't deny, Maroon 5's got some really gorgeous lyrics.

Allie and Jade

2010-07-04T17:24:00.011+08:00

'07

'08

Evelyn and Tiffany, Kirsten and Hayley, Taylor's and Seth's... '09

Best of all, daddy's and mummy's girls. '10

I miss both of you, dearly.

(Yeah the watermarking right smack in every center is for a good reason :)

2010-07-03T23:16:00.003+08:00

Worst memory of the cup, Brazil not maintaining their first-half's brilliant lead during quarter finals.

But OH MY GOSH Germany CANNOT win tonight !

2010-06-30T00:31:00.002+08:00

I love French ducks.

Puddle Of Muddle

2010-06-29T19:24:00.005+08:00

Oh wow ! I'm... blogging !

Yes, this is just an excuse to escape the hell I have to face today.

Hell = No I'm not telling you.

Yes I am. (:

It really is an assignment.

And for once in my life, I don't have the drive to rush to complete my work.

Oh my insides are churning with anxiety obviously. Being a worrywart (quote two people I know who have not the slightest clue about each other's existence but who have resemblance) is in my nature, so I am worrying my bum off. But I am sick of working.

Honestly, I am.

And somebody needs to shake me real hard, tell me something that goes along the lines of, "Stop yelling at your brain for once. Matters are complex enough to be probed and poked at. Someone needs to hand you a golden platter of assurance, since you don't have any to live with. Ugh."

...Oh wait, I just told myself something along said lines.

I need a life. Go get me some. (:

2010-06-27T22:11:00.007+08:00

I NEED TIME.

TIME for relaxing without the tireless, nagging guilt somewhere in the rear of my brain.

TIME to touch the piano after months.

TIME to add another piece to my songbook.

TIME to sit with my daddy during tea time without a book or file in hand.

TIME to sit with my mummy, sip hot milo and listen to good music.

TIME for typing out long e-mails to my sisters, instead of waiting for rare phone calls which hardly allow much to be exchanged.

TIME to lie down with mama and watch her hum to her favourite CDs as she flips through nyonya recipes.

TIME to call so many people I haven't seen or heard a wink from, and talk as if no lightning will strike.

TIME for getting to know myself better.

TIME to attend talks, functions, social events, musicals, exhibitions and see K.L, let alone the world.

TIME to blog. Properly. Without making empty promises to myself and the blog itself.

Period.

Sir Engelbert Humperdinck

2010-06-20T00:15:00.012+08:00

"Legacy Of Love" World

Tour.

Mhmm, the opportunity of a lifetime, and I had it. Mmm.

As for now I would like to release some steam, for it is the norm for the current generation to pay no attention to the oldies; but what ticks me off more is the immaturity a handful possess. I think his name is unique, just as his one-of-a-kind voice is. So if you have anything nasty to say, please step out of my way. Respect; is all I ask for, pretty please?

With my fire subsiding, I smile at a flashback of him grooving on the stage just 4 hours ago and boy, was he grooving his way around! *charmed* Shall blog about how the performance went, after, I get some sleep. I am ever so grateful for the free tickets... Wow.

Thank you, daddy !

Oh, did you see the stars colliding?

2010-06-12T15:26:00.007+08:00

*Drafted* 1st June 2010.

*Edited* 12th June 2010.

I will never ever ever let slip of the memories accumulated today, worthy of written history.

Isaac running late. He was 'Outrageously sorry!'

Detective work and Candles. Heaps and heaps of candles.

Pre-surprise. Birthday surprise.

Playing with candles; Isaac making snow out of wax.

Fish crackers; Hippie headbands.

Arrival of... everyone (:

Four amaaaazing cars tailing one another.

Squeezing into one lift. The humorous confusion of the lift buttons; travelling up, down, up, down.

Gaudy gloves !

CCTV in the room ! Scandal (;

Bracing ourselves for our very slippery destiny !

Clinging for dear life on the rails.

Discovering eight professionals (:

Forming lines and partners and feeling the weight of metal against ice.

Sore but exhilarated.

Tickets. Potatoes. Food fight. Donation for orphans.

Losing my 5 year-old possession.

Patrolling and scouting round for my lost item. To say they were incredible, is, by far, an understatement.

Sharing water.

Buying me a bottle of water in return... (:

Sitting on the floor.

Concern from every person present.

Car-hopping in the midst of traffic jam.

Flower.

Text from Isaac.

Unforgettable conversation on MSN.

Defining a special bond.

Shining just to show,

We Belong.

Diving out of dreams.

2010-05-30T04:55:00.004+08:00

*Edit*

4.58 a.m.

Kristin Chenoweth. (:

Still scared.

Tick...ed.

2010-05-30T04:13:00.005+08:00

It's no surprise sleep won't yell for me.

4.14 a.m.

You're welcome.

No flavoured touch.

2010-05-29T17:44:00.009+08:00

Just,

"Hey Addy, ..."

It scares me.

Um...

2010-05-28T02:10:00.006+08:00

Last Wednesday I was in the kitchen having dinner by myself. I saw a young sandfly flipping over and over, attempting to regain its balance from falling on its back. Steady as it was, I think it tried to fly but one of its wings appeared to be disproportionate. Didn’t realize I had stopped chewing and that my spoon was empty where the next portion of rice was due. I looked up from the piece of silverware in time to see the sandfly shoot horizontally across the table a centimeter airborne and failed to get any higher. It like, fell in gravity’s favour...

Down.

I remember my leg muscles carrying me round to that side of the table. I’m not even sure if I had it in my intentions to break its fall. I only remember crouching down to search for the creature, but saw no sign of it.

Where are you?

Somehow, I felt an instant tug at the strings of my heart.

I hope you survived, dear sandfly.

"Yeah, it fits..."

2010-05-28T00:09:00.005+08:00

It’s unsettling how someone for once, shares the same logic as mine. Shouldn’t I be pleased that someone else understands why I stick to a theory like that? Apparently no, not the case.

Perhaps being addressed this way by anybody other than myself can crush my resolve like how mama’s clay set can crush chili into paste.

Am not liking any bit of it.

Am anxious. And nervous.

When will insecurity pass me by... tsk.

The dream confirmed my worst fears, as if i needed that.

2010-05-27T17:56:00.003+08:00

Pretty colours in my blog's new layout ! (:

(:

2010-05-25T17:38:00.008+08:00

#4 Snow Moments

No, not too lazy to re-type. I just felt it would be slightly more personal and honest, coming right out on impulse when I relayed those words above earlier today.

(: Just grin lah.

Slothful

2010-05-23T16:00:00.012+08:00

Dear Internet-Connection,

I am writing to you in sheer hopes that you could do something about yourself. You see, I am facing trouble accessing you. Your child, Websites, solidly refuses to assist me even in times of grave need. All it offers are blank responses and the 'loading...' sign. I do not see how the 'loading' sign may help me for it never directs me to my desired destinations. As a kid, I think Websites' behaviour should be better polished and as a parent, you are clearly not setting your responsibilities straight. You are too slow for my good, you get me lost midway while I travel on Assignments. Even when I need to catch a break, my journey is often jammed up so I end up sitting at home, miserable. Here are my proposals:

1. For you to buck up before I end up crashing into Work's walls.

2. For you to discipline Websites to constantly offer the 'green' sign instead.

3. For you to run alongside me as I move from Assignments to Presentations.

4. For you to remove all hindrances as I try to enter Google and YouTube.

Looking forward to your speedy makeover.

Yours sincerely,

Lost User.